Staying involved with each other. Some
relationships get stuck in
peaceful coexistence, but
without truly relating to
each other and working
together. While it may
seem stable on the
surface, lack of
involvement and
communication increases
distance. When you need
to talk about something
important, the connection
and understanding may
no longer be there.
Getting through conflict. Some couples
talk things out quietly,
while others may raise
their voices and
passionately disagree.
The key in a strong
relationship, though, is
not to be fearful of
conflict. You need to be
safe to express things
that bother you without
fear of retaliation, and
be able to resolve
conflict without
humiliation, degradation
or insisting on being
right.
Communicating. Honest, direct
communication is a key
part of any relationship.
When both people feel
comfortable expressing
their needs, fears, and
desires, trust and bonds
are strengthened.
Nonverbal cues—body
language like eye
contact, leaning forward
or away, or touching
someone’s arm—are
critical to communication.
Keeping outside relationships and interests alive. No
one person can meet all
of our needs, and
expecting too much from
someone can put a lot of
unhealthy pressure on a
relationship. Having
friends and outside
interests not only
strengthens your social
network, but brings new
insights and stimulation
to the relationship, too.
Tips
1: Keep physical intimacy alive.
Touch is a fundamental part
of human existence. Studies
on infants have shown the
importance of regular,
loving touch and holding on
brain development. These
benefits do not end in
childhood. Life without
physical contact with others
is a lonely life indeed.
Studies have shown that
affectionate touch actually
boosts the body’s levels of
oxytocin, a hormone that
influences bonding and
attachment. In a committed
relationship between two
adult partners, physical
intercourse is often a
cornerstone of the
relationship. However,
intercourse should not be
the only method of physical
intimacy in a relationship.
Regular, affectionate touch
—holding hands, hugging,
or kissing—is equally
important.
2: Spend quality time together
You probably have fond
memories of when you were
first dating your loved one.
Everything may have
seemed new and exciting,
and you may have spent
hours just chatting
together or coming up with
new, exciting things to try.
However, as time goes by,
children, demanding jobs,
long commutes, different
hobbies and other
obligations can make it hard
to find time together. It’s
critical for your
relationship, though, to
make time for yourselves. If
you don’t have quality time,
communication and
understanding start to
erode. Simple ways to connect as a couple and rekindle Love Commit to spending quality time together on a regular basis. Even during very busy
and stressful times, a
few minutes of really
sharing and connecting
can help keep bonds
strong. Find something that you enjoy doing together.whether it is
a shared hobby, dance
class, daily walk, or
sitting over a cup of
coffee in the morning. Try something new together. Doing new
things together can be a
fun way to connect and
keep things interesting. It
can be as simple as
trying a new restaurant
or going on a day trip to
a place you’ve never
been before.
3: never stop communicating.
Good communication is a
fundamental part of a
healthy relationship. When
people stop communicating
well, they stop relating well,
and times of change or
stress can really bring out
disconnect. As long as you
are communicating, you can
work through whatever
problem you’re facing.
Learn your partner's emotional cues Each of us is a little
different in how we best
receive information. Some
people might respond
better to sight, sound, or
touch. Your partner’s
responses may be different
from yours. Take some time
to learn your partner’s
cues, and be sure to
communicate your own as
well. For example, one
person might find a brief
massage after a stressful
day a loving mode of
communication—while
another might just want to
talk over a hot cup of tea.
So much of our
communication is
transmitted by what we
don’t say. Nonverbal cues
—such as eye contact,
leaning forward or away, or
touching someone’s arm—
communicate much more
than words. For a
relationship to work well,
each person has to be
receptive to sending and
receiving nonverbal cues.
Learning to understand this
“body language” can help
you better understand what
your partner is trying to
say. Think about what you
are transmitting as well,
and if what you say
matches what you feel. If
you say “I’m fine,” but you
clench your teeth and look
away, then your body is
clearly signaling you are
not. Each of us is a little
different in how we best
receive information. Some
people might respond
better to sight, sound, or
touch. Your partner’s
responses may be different
from yours. Take some time
to learn your partner’s
cues, and be sure to
communicate your own as
well. For example, one
person might find a brief
massage after a stressful
day a loving mode of
communication—while
another might just want to
talk over a hot cup of tea.
So much of our
communication is
transmitted by what we
don’t say. Nonverbal cues
—such as eye contact,
leaning forward or away, or
touching someone’s arm—
communicate much more
than words. For a
relationship to work well,
each person has to be
receptive to sending and
receiving nonverbal cues.
Learning to understand this
“body language” can help
you better understand what
your partner is trying to
say. Think about what you
are transmitting as well,
and if what you say
matches what you feel. If
you say “I’m fine,” but you
clench your teeth and look
away, then your body is
clearly signaling you are
not.
